I do not look at people who believed in me as evil. I do not see them as unforgivable. I see them as led by wolves wearing the blessing of a sheep they never had. Picking up a sword that was never yours to wield as one gent said in an astute song. I went to listen to a song that gives me strength, and utube put up in the middle the verde verde song about how I USED TO RULE TO WORLD, NOW I SWEEP THE STREETS. This was about me, because I would not go along with their charade. They want Christ, they get Christ... not a follower of blasphemy, a criminal, a...
The Mafia Christ, deadly spy working undercover, using a cult of people to take over the secret world... no, just a puppet of other guys, whose plans I screwed up, thank God. They did not tell me what they were doing, which drove me mad. People thought I came up with all this on my own, and only later was it revealed I was a product of intelligence meddling my entire life, because of my Grandfathers spy status as an underground, rebel Scottish king. Whatever the truth is does not matter to me about what I can only speculate about.
I have enough truth I know about first hand without speculating... in fact that is like putting myself on the rack, thinking about their crimes against humanity. I will learn more before this over, and God knows I may change my mind again about who is doing Justice, and who is selfishly breaking the Golden Rule. I am no nut about things, let their be multi millionaires, and after that tax the hell out of them... but the fortunes of the billionaires and trillionaires were acquired by crimes, and should be confiscated. This requires a world wide effort. Two of the super powers agree with me. I live in the belly of the beast that backs up the oligarchy.
Ah, I explain things to you, who I am trying to talk to... who know who I am. This is not a belief that has changed within me. What this being is, that is another story all together, long lost to lies and rewrites... play telephone once, and you can understand what happened. Still, I left messages to myself, words gentle people could live by in the new testament... words of war, they needed during the old testament. The warrior Jesus was removed mostly from the New Testament, and the latest evidence shows he died a revolutionary, between two other Zealots, as they called them. Thieves were not crucified during this time, their hands were cut off...
I do not know yet how to write to an audience that knows everything and more about my situation. I have to battle shame, horror, grief, and every other emotion associated with confronting the death of loved ones. I am sorry that people forced others into anything.... part of the plan, not mine. By the time you really came to me and said what should we do, I was so out of touch with the world I had no answers at all. You thought I was aware of so much.... a conversation could have changed the world many times over in my life. To not even have been granted this one reprieve... well, I expect the worst.
I do not want to abandon the people who believed in my vision of this world. The take I believe God inspired within me, though these were the words... not my life. I AM THE WORD. The flesh is just a man I am a soul passing thru, on a task. Maybe I am here to hold the hand of a dying earth, or maybe I am here to save earth from dying? My dream world is unlikely to come about, though this does not mean that I will not dream it, because my dreams have come true before, as if the fantasies alone brought about crazed things that I never in a million years thought would happen, that came true. In dark ways, never with the outcome I wanted.
I will never tell you that I matter in a spiritual way. God is so much greater than I am... you cannot compare us. I am an emissary. What such labels mean is nothing in the spirit world. Equality is a given. Thrones and crowns and monarchies are for humans. The way they have created civilizations, not the ways of the invisible world. People use the bible to hold up their way of thinking, ruling.
The bibles are political now. They can be aimed like a gun, at anyone, pretty much, with the right passage... or forgive anyone and say do not judge with another passage.
I want to bring all of you on a journey, with a very different beginning... but revolutions and often religions are created in violence. Does new passage of teaching have to replace everything that comes before? No, merely some of the bible is right... messages I sent to myself, I used to think, as I opened the bible to eerily close to my situation passages.
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