I am not holy
I am not chosen
I am nothing in the grand scheme
and everything
in that I am of and part of God
as all creation is
and can only b
the pain of this life I cannot
understand as holy or unholy
certainly no creature with an interest in the well being
of every sparrow
would allow such butchery as we see
in the food industry
our wars
our households
that I brought more of this
I was sure I was right
convinced that only the most cruel methods
were going to solve this hellish problem
I cannot even imagine that mindset
I read over my old work and see a maniac at times
I knew this then
when I saw the churches you had built
I saw for a second the world worshipping the persona
you had seen as I bitched at an enemy
No I did not want to believe my part
why I attack the made men
was to attack myself
now I claim my part
now I understand how wrong/yet right
I was
God kept me righteous
when you thought I was not
The violence the armies the taking place beyond my sight
I was in the matrix
and you expected me to be neo
as I went to the office each day unknowing
I go back on facebook
get that now
the stupid interaction
fake folk
to put up a like
give the illusion of no audience
you are watching me but I am not a show
I am not sure what you are trying to do
I am not a racist
I am not anti-semetic
I am far left. socialistic
I fight for these things willingly
as well as the lives of those who once believed
who have been called fallen
for being captured by a mind net
swept larger than I could imagine
thru time and trust and secret societies
did I in the end disappoint you?
Was I the last survivor of hart?
The cop tossed on the island?
The Blood Race
How I hate the media portrayal of this
I have only their perception to absorb
though they are fighting something
slipping all these messages out
now I see white house fallen
to London fallen
has gone to angel fallen
those who know I saved London
saved the president
and new York the night they tried to empty it
When I was asked at the last second if I wished such destruction
when I had no idea you were at war
let alone that I could make a decision that would kill soldiers
how this was allowed to happen is still beyond me
how there was no leadership
except a guy in his apartment with no intelligence
and then a whole bunch of criminals and mystics and
God only knows what I conjured with a poem that was a forgiveness
for the entire world
I was insane with the Jesus brainwashing
thinking like evidently they meant me to some degree
though wiping out
wildly
especially with catholics
over masturbation
which is amusing since I began this with pee wee herman
and first noticed him playing a Hapsburg..
later meeting with bikers and he is Jewish, so...
I write amusing and my stomach literally drops as cliche' as it is
not amusing at all when the I think
of the few words and one show I saw about this
I wanted to work with Williams street
thought we were a perfect fit
in the real world
not the spy world
had no idea
no clue
what was happening
I never meant to hurt you
when you showed me someone punching someone
for saying something bad about me
I laughed
I should have said NO
who wants to hear shit about themselves that is bad
I needed to
I just didn't believe much on the tv
at all.
took it all for a farce
chaos in Hollywood you told me
why would Hollywood have anything to do with what I was doing?
I had no clue....
life is.
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