JESUS TALK

I heard butterflies die if you set them free from their cocoons,
because they learn co ordination and vigor and strength fighting their way out.
I have no idea if this is true or not.

The creature I am
broke through the granite walls that were my cocoon.
Granite cocoons with walls so thick
most never dream there is a world
outside of their cocoon

I broke out with the help of many lives

I broke out only to walk blindly into a battlefield
with no idea who was friend or foe
 swinging at everyone

thinking anyone who shed blood my enemy
convinced myself the carnage
had nothing to do with me

I told them give me ten years to process this becoming
Feared the flood of lepers who would crush me on this earth
enough to wait for the internet
The plans of GOD THRU HUMYNS
to bring the radicals messages to the world

a scientific voice sheltered in the love of God
in a time when art and religion fought the march of progress
fearing what Frankenstein's would be released on the world
Atom bombs seemed to confirm the worst beliefs on the naysayers
even the inventors coming out afterward half mad
one living without electricity preaching against what he had done
for the rest of his life

I think of how I was judged thru the lens of a book of ruler lies
tax payer lies
power hungry priests
words written in tribute to man not God
in between the Poetry inspired enough to guide men thru the centuries
the small treasure of universal truths
as flexible as ever though good enough for most
the Golden Rule HAD TO BE SUPPRESSED to keep the wealthy
special, treated with dignity



I never wanted you to watch me/never had a choice
they told me of these cameras
I would not go along
I could not believe this was happening to me
hidden on tv or known around the world
all being taken wrong
hijacked by a Jesus who did not want to be worshiped

I did not know you were fighting the blacks
this ridiculous side trip on the march to justice and peace
enraged me enough to kill to stop this
those who try to keep these fires raging
on either side are going to burn each other down
I do not care how old your feuds or the body count
the young minds torn by war
the women burned in piles as Bush danced with glee
on the white house lawn

There are only two sides and the differences sown between us
is perhaps why Jesus said if a man smacks you offer him your other cheek
to say we should not allow people to goad us into making them our enemies
So far I have let no group stereotype in my mind into the grand schemers
or the evil cabals
I see humans within these hives
I see humans in the enemies uniforms
I see humans wanting me dead and forgotten
Irrelevant

I am beyond that now even if the world goes to shit
Because some folks on this planet knew what I wrote
was me all along
not the creature you left drugged and in pain imprisoned in ignorance
not the deadly one
who spawned hellish realities
from a scripture written by a vengeful God
who could barely tell if he was having any effect at all
a man who did not know enough
not to follow his impulses,
still acting on the inspiration of God
regretting afterwards...
almost apologetic

until 20/20 blessed me with knowing the right thing had happened
too bloody and complex for me to have ever orchestrated
I wrote to choose a side against or for the one percent
Suddenly I learned there were various sides in this fight

When I was pressured whether I am one race or another
I was never going to answer their question with a fealty
that I did not offer any humyn
I was thought to have decided from a comedy story
where I needed a recognizable religious figure
to make my point/chosen almost by random
along with a few bums, cops, and penguins and the pope
who God was really there to pick up

from this they were told I had chosen a side
others were told I was a pure revolutionary
with a conscious agenda on my mind

In my mind I was so pissed off at what was happening
in my life
how I seemed to ruin everything good
the brainwashing taking my decorum
myself
the person I was
and adding over or opening up a groundswell
of sweet inspiration in the voice of the one
called the Son of God
the messenger
the caretaker
superman avowed only to avert
his powers against meteors should one come
at the planet
an alien who cannot interfere
because he is not allowed
only to witness
the revolutionary leftest

I have no clue what is true
what is the imagination
the rationalizations
more distance from the dead
from the sound of those calling for my death
sending messages thru the media
with dylan now
who threatened my life and for this
and other services to the cia
got the nobel peace prize

what a joke the game is when a man
who helped kill the unions perhaps more
than any other
by pretending he was woody gutherie
part of music as a weapon for the people
when he was a subterfuge who would
make up lyrics on a fourth grade level
filled with emotion and elusive enough
for the deluded and the led
not even to have noticed
the politics were out of music

They were no longer writing union songs
no longer about supporting the oppressed
the would be yuppies grouped around the mkultra
icon

he now presents himself with my old allies
before I knew what was happening
and whom I never would have hurt had I known
I do not want to take any sides...  though your alleigence
in any way honors me and I am ashamed of what you saw
in my time of ignorance

If you do not understand how I fought for your rights
how far I tried to take you into the public mind as just people
if you truly think
I would abandon this
then you have not understood a heart felt word
George and Dave were my best friends
Dave was kinder, never fought, spent the nights there
just watching tv and talking
I used him in a story when this started
speaking of a love that would never have been in real life
where I never considered having sex with a man

and a middle aged man who was wizened a bit on the issue

taking the world this way and that on their perception of me
when I knew others had been watching me forever


I watched the events unfolding thinking I had nothing to do with most
of it until that position became impossible

In the video where I was threatened
dylan showed himself leading mexican's down the street
now he is suddenly appearing on a gay oriented album
fairly unlike the curmudgeon who would not pick up
a noble prize for literature -- a joke that even his ego
had to find hurtful I hope

I have always protected the gays and went too far
when I was just tossing out words at people
not thinking they were going to let me rant again
or drugged out of my mind
saying Gays are angels, without a thought
to the implications

I did not want to create angels
I did not want to create followers
     i WISHED to bring together like thinkers

I KNOW there must be new thinking
built on the scriptures of old
enriched by science and the thinking of every era

Truth never stops growing
religions that do not accept this will drive people
away from God

The fundamentalists make God absurd

God is not absurd
God is not relevant to your life
God exists and life is eternal
Ways of living given to the children that
keep them at peace with one another
offer justice to all

God's knowledge makes ours seem like non-sequesters
I cannot call myself a Christian after what has become
of the messages of Christ
the wisdom of the Jews
and the religions that created them
most forgotten now


I have memories of times before recorded history
of times brutal and forgotten
the longest period of human development
where come most of the memories of the oldest souls

I told stories to the bugs about these times
in the trances that came
or the imaginations that keep me company in my cell

I had the worlds eyes upon me and did not know
I am sorry I just found this SORDID when I learned this
I am sorry that I was not more clear
I am sorry that I was unaware of your secrets
I asked you to keep no secrets and it is all you did

I felt I was in a Vonnegut novel, the couple trapped
in a zoo

what became of him
I wrote of Vonnegut the first few days
when the worlds attention was affixed
when the voice of God filled me and all
things seemed possible
until I discovered I was to be left in pain
then I rebelled against anyone who would do this to a person
then I accepted that I was created to be a bomb
sitting under a city
holding a dead man's switch
set to go off in minds all over the world
I PRAY
when the day comes
we do what is best for all
Just KNOW I will NEVER do what is best for YOU
the big YOU that has the power bases around the world

I could not figure out what was happening
my terror turned to rage
and I blamed targets who were innocent
never thought to go back and expand on what I mean
that is what writer's do
develop the thought
I will NEVER allow
them to crucify me
Try as they might
my fate is God's to do with as He will



I cannot steal back the footage of my life
make it inadmissible in court
tell the jury they cannot consider
the ravings of a prisoner who did not know
what he was talking about
other than trying to preserve his own life
to continue his war against the people
who were doing this to him
the unjust in the world
to continue ...
 death
the lover I had courted
often enough my enemies and allies knew
my fate is not in their bullets
or their words
my fate is the work of a Loving God




once I knew there was God to be experienced
the freedom of being soul again
on the other side of bullets
sticks
and stones
nukes

I knew there would be many things to fight for to forge a new world
blood spilled needed direction at specific targets
by co olitions that disdain racism, sexism, anti-semetics
no stereotypes would be allowed to dissolve the individual
in the class war

the battle to set the scale right and save the world
which will not happen unless sanity is enforced
on the planet by those in leadership
and that means changing most of them
for a new force

we need a world wide
emergency government
to deal with the crises in this world
a terror of a leader who unites the planet peacefully
as possible
treading light enough to avoid any more senseless
wars

I see the logic in the thinking of those behind the plan
they used me in, operation blue beam...
though their view of the future was out dated
products of their times and prejudices and thinking
a world I will not help create

I was told getting into an argument with a guy
and writing a letter a letter asking jessie jackson
to acknowledge me, having no idea what was happening
around me
and used an unfortunate turn of phrase
that was taken as a declaration of war....
no, it was an invitation to get involve or stay out of the way

Just stupid poetics.  All my life I have lived my life as a person who was not at all racist about blacks.  I had plenty of black mentors when I was eighteen
after ending up broke, living in texas, in a dorm owned and housed with
almost all black guys
I was a bookish kid who had read of the evil racists
all my life and would have nothing to do with them

For this people died.
Without consulting the one
who you decided would make these decisions
when I was not qualified
A man should not lead the women
A guy like me should not lead the gays
I do not want to lead anyone

I feel compelled to do as my God asks
to write
this is what He made me for a reason

There are days I think it is unseemly to even
write a word
after what has happened
though I am not going to allow what happened
to silence me
enough have been silenced
in this world

I would wash off all of the blood from my words
and walk among you scientifically and as I am
if I were not a tool, a puppet, a front guy
driving the religious mad
I warned you right away what would happen
saw it coming

I never imagined a short story
based a true story
about a boyfriend killing a young girls parents
then driving off'
They had basically just destroyed their lives'
would go to prison
nothing would ever be right again

I did not feel I needed to add that
I imagined people knew better than to kill their parents
for any reason at all
or anyone almost ever



we need to change our system of governing the world
bring the priorities back to quality of life
working towards existences with as little labor
as possible
a fact our present leaders ignore
to earn their thirty pieces of silver
to keep the oligarchy safe
from those pesky laws
that would stop child labor and make the stocks drop

THE REDISTRIBUTION OF WEALTH
has to be the rallying cry of the citizens of all nations
many governments will go along to bring a peace
lasting
a usa that does not threaten to use nukes
a usa trying to get rid of the sins of our fathers
until there is not one left on this planet

do I sound Utopian?
a future for the many
has this already been ruled out?
will it be for the culled?