MODERN FAMILY

I was humbled by your work for the cause.  I was humbled when I heard one of you say I AM GETTING A NEW TATTOO, after I wrote about kill or be killed.  I also heard, TELL HIM WHAT HE DID TO MODERN FAMILY.  I did not mean for you to be the person who was there when I suddenly realized this feed was directly into my life and all kinds of people were watching me, when they flashed a picture of me in my green house coat, with the camera angle from the tv....   I felt cheapened by that, not you...  not you... God, no.  I heard you dissed and tried to clear that up as quick as possible..

I did not know many things at that point.  Of course.  I think of that moment a lot, is my point.  I know that on certain matters we disagree, and on other matters you feel like I betrayed you.  No.  I did what I believed was best for all people, not one.  The idea that some are chosen and some are not is what gets us into these messes.  Equality is what is needed, and instead of the shoulder to shoulder I wrote of so many times, i was thrust into a role that I never wanted. 

I do not know the state of affairs.   I do not know if you have gotten over this racial barrier, if you are feeling like only a few people get to live still, or what...  I know I sure see a lot of stuff.  Like HEART INDUSTRIES on the BLOOD RACE or whatever the show was, where only the cop lived.   I saw the batman and how superman was going to commit suicide and then is saved by batman.  Batman had nothing to do with it.  You lie and lie and lie.  Masonic shit I do not care about.  I will not join your club of secrecy, though I sure would like to know what you are doing for my own edification.   I know there are some good people in these organizations, or whatever...  though they know where I come from now, and whether they are with me or against me, I have no idea.  I walk this earth alone, especially now that you put me in a spotlight.  When you accused me of asking for that torture I wanted to kill you so bad, yo you ma.   I have to forgive people... one moment you liked me, the next we were enemies, and all because you people never told me what was happening.   As soon as you did I tried my best to stop it,, but I sure as hell did not know what I was doing.

I have just been getting educated so far.  At this point, I write that I am pissed at people and want blood, but that is not really true, I suppose.  I do not need revenge, much as I want it...  lust for it..  the monster in me screams for blood.  I will not however allow you to slander people, calling them fallen angels, when in fact they are the victims of intelligence using religion and cults for their own purposes.  I have no idea what I am.  I do not know how much of me is created by them, or God.  I know I have seen miracles, and had very bizarre experiences over the years.   I also know I was brainwashed...  at the same time, what if I did start to grow wings... why else would they give me all that chemotherapy...  why....  wings.  Makes sense if they used alien dna.  or whatever.

I do not care what is true or not as far as the mystical is concerned, I love my God of love.  I love my God of the Golden Rule, who I saw in a vision the night I saw myself destroying the earth.   Where did that come from... was it inserted, do they have the ability to make you dream such things... I do not think so.

I am not going to back down no matter what you do.  I see Fox messing with me.  I also think, you have no idea when I lied to you and when I told you the truth... and I did mess with you, thinking only spies saw me.  The feeling of mortification that fills me at the thought off being seen by all those people sickens me.  I am very private.  To be paraded in front of the world at my very worst, as my world fell apart and I was alice in wonderland.  First you made me a pirate, when I would not accept stolen money or blood money, you thought I was crazy... went ahead and became pirates.   I had no idea what you were doing behind my back, though I saw signs that terrified me all the time.  Hated the red eye saying TOTAL RECALL when I began to remember being Christ.   I was a long way from knowing what that means, or the place of such a being in this world.  God is the word, and the word is God.
Not actions.  Words.  Words which propel, or stop, action.  Premeditation before action...

I am tired of seeing Ophra and obama together.  Is he a Nazi, too?  Is that what happened...  God, the thought sickens me, though..  I guess they all try to get along.  That is what is best, keep the common goal in mind... as long as it is remembered that various voices will decide the future, not one.  No one is supreme, or chosen.

I assumed you knew all these things because I wrote them, then come to find out that you saw me bitching at the spies.. I guess I began doing that in my writing, too...

YOUR PEOPLE ARE AFRAID

i HEARD one night and I crumbled inside, saying you have nothing to fear from me....  I had no idea what was going on out there.  And then the idiots in the CIA decided to make me the sacrificial lamb...  hide all of their actions behind this evil guy who did these things.  Do you really think one person could have done this... Lord, it was planned, not some huge revolution about religion. 

I was going crazy and wanted to be left alone, but then violence entered in.  Had I known what I wrote about Jeb Bush would cause him harm I never would have said such a thing.  I would not operate like that...  I wanted everyone forgiven...  then Bush wanted to crown me Christ, and I thought he was crowning himself.   I could not even conceive of wanting those things, or to be king of the world, or the emperor.  When I heard the report of a man dying to get on the news THE emperor wants Colorado, I would have vehemently denied this if I had known you were taking clues from me.  They did not want me calling for a revolution, that took them by surprise, put a chink in operation bluebeam having me go along, or go along as a Christ who was here to say the church is perfect.  i WOULD NOT be here if I did not have something to say, or would not be exposed.  However dangerous that became. 

You can think of me what you want.  I cannot really care about that, though I do...  it cannot effect me unless it is something that I need to change.

There is nothing I can do if my reputation is gone.  I would not want anything to happen if people looked at me as someone to worship, or a person who wants to tell them how to live..   I could not believe there was a cult, when I hated cults so much, all my life, would never have used one, and there I was.   Or perhaps some had waited their entire lives for me to become something.   I feel I have become something as I write, feel the presence of God in the room, and the universes around me, the complexity...