The eating of human flesh. I read over waking up jesus and came across the poem that must have solidified this belief. I heard of various instances of this, on ships for reasons that are unclear -- and make me glad when they kept talking about some ship of mine that I finally said, HEY, THAT IS NOT MY SHIP... after realizing I was being associated with something I didn't yet understand. All those teaching moments for me, written in blood, in letters huge enough to fill city streets from coast to coast...
I know of what I have said of sausage. I know no details, other than I what I THOUGHT was a joke, soon enough proved to be something else I laughed at on the webcam, looking psychotic as hell. When in reality I would not have been laughing at all, but I was not in reality, I was in a mental cage, a prison, far from reality. Believing life was not what they were telling me, but what I had come to believe, to cope with the intrusion into my existence, and the horrors I could not even face... or when I did felt so helpless that... as I feel now. "At least you have your arms." I saved the jobs of men who cut off the arms of people who tried to launch an internet revolution, instead of sticking to the OPERATION BLUEBEAM script they had going. People thought there was no army behind me because they were told this. What a crock of shit. Said to hide the army behind me, though I believed their lies.
When you have absolutely NO ONE to whom you can discuss your existence, as I do, who can relate, there is little more I can do except write down the events. The problem is that I am wrong, and at times loath to put me in the harsh light I deserve for certain actions. That is not because I do not feel it, it means these are the secrets I will keep, because most often those are the memories that would hurt current allies, or bring names into this who acted on orders that did not seem monstrous at the time, or became so... or were. I have to FORGIVE EVERYONE. I do not have to trust you, or even let you live, though part of forgiving is giving people a chance at redemption, once that has proven impossible I am done -- and if I decide ahead of time, now that so many failed this test in the best to bloody results on my side... if you have no chance, die. I however am not your cliche' Christian when it comes to judging people. AND I DO NOT THINK death is the end, or a sentence to hell for eternity.
I know of what happened in Colorado from four mentions in the press. I do not know what happened there. Watched Dominion after a spy said those are your people. All these lesser angels. Where the hell did these ideas come from? Angels. I wish the idea had never entered peoples minds as they did not in my case until I used them as metaphors, and pondered them, after waking up Jesus. I wish now I had never used the word. No privileges should be afforded to people for being anything. Nor should any crap. Angels. I have never met one, that I know of. A ghost is the only supernatural creature I have met. Though once, when I was bed ridden, and laying in a bed at street level, I turned over and there in the window, inches from me, was an alien face, complete with saliva on the teeth and so realistic, noting like a mask could make or anything, about four foot high. It did look a bit demonic with pointed ears. A huge mouth with teeth that were dirty and dripping saliva... the absolute realism of the object convinced me either it was a hallucination or real. I had never had a hallucination before without LSD, and nothing remotely like this.
Though since they had plans for me, perhaps they spent the godzillion dollars on the make up... star wars had just come out? They tried to be careful with me, create the leader of a one world religion out of a guy who would show angelic tendencies one moment, then be an asshole in the next.
No comments:
Post a Comment